


The Only House That’s Not On Fire

by greyedwriting (adhdlayton)



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Uneasy Allies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22586320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhdlayton/pseuds/greyedwriting
Summary: (yet)
Relationships: Snatcher/Empress (A Hat in Time)
Kudos: 17





	The Only House That’s Not On Fire

Really, it was a rare occasion that ever saw the Snatcher leaving his forest. But… under his influence and guidance, the forest grew to what it was now, all in a desperate bid to contain that vile Ice Witch. While Snatcher wasn't fully accepting of his role as protector and predator, he tried once every blue moon to turn intruders away. One such intruder being a cat, possibly a few years younger than he himself was.

But she kept coming back time and time again. After what felt like, at least to him, was the twentieth time shooting her away… Snatcher was getting seriously annoyed with this particular cat, enough so that he felt it was time to put an end to this nonsense once and for all. When she appeared yet again, he popped up behind her, arms crossed and sounding highly cross with her. “Okay,  _ why-” _

The cat lets out a shout of alarm, whirling around to face him and pulling something from her coat to point at him. Being dead takes a great deal of time getting used to, but not even being dead can prepare you for someone pointing a gun at you. Her sudden demanding voice thankfully snapped him out of his shock.  _ "What are you?!" _

"Jesus christ- L-lady, put the damn gun away!"

_ "Tell me who you are." _

"Alright, fine... god. If you want to really know I'm the Snatcher, you know- owner and local haunt of these woods? I should also note that guns don't work on me, lady."

The cat narrows her eyes and levels a hard glare at him, clearly not buying it. Before he can add anything else, she raises her gun once more and fires two rounds off directly into his chest. While being dead meant you really can't die again, no one said shit about still feeling pain. Letting out an angry hiss, he clutched the parts of his chest where the bullets hit him. 

_ "What. The.  _ **_Fuck?!"_ **

She blinks in surprise, fully expecting the other to drop dead after shooting him..It wasn't every day one ran into an actual ghost. It didn't help that now said ghost was very very irate and looming over her now, practically radiating anger her way.

"... O-oh… Alright, well... uh..."

Snatcher crosses his arms once more, leveling a seething glare down at the cat before him. Realizing she might have made one hell of a grave mistake, her ears flatten back some in worry and mild concern for her own wellbeing. 

".... Are you.... Going to kill me?"

"Maybe! Maybe I should! Hell, I just might, because who is  _ that stupid _ to test a gun on someone to see if they're a ghost or not!?"

She regretfully admits he does have a point, even if she feels a bit stupid now. 

"Look, to be fair, I've never met an actual ghost until today..."

"Well I really wouldn't recommend shooting any of us, as you can see it doesn't work, and it only pisses us off more… Anyways, why do you keep coming back in here? Every time I drive you out of here, I keep finding you near that damn mansion. You know that it's dangerous right? Why do you keep coming back??"

"The old royal family's jewelry, of course."

Snatcher lets out a long groan, a clawed hand coming up to drag it down his face.

"I really don’t recommend it. The Queen is still alive and lurking about in there. She's the one responsible for killing all those villagers."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, rumors like that being spread are likely to get hundreds killed at her hands. So if I were you, I wouldn't spread that around anymore."

The cat goes quiet for a time, tail swishing slowly as she thought things over. Unfortunately, the Snatcher knows that type of silence all too well by now. “Okay. Okay. Look. If you get out of my forest, I can get my minions to retrieve the royal jewels.”

She lights up at that, only to squint at him, suspicious. “Nothing else?”

“I’d rather not eat your soul, so  _ yes. _ I’ll get you your jewels, and you can  _ get out. _ Here, I’ll even get it in writing.”

She stares as the Snatcher summons up a piece of paper, writing everything down. Is… That a contract? … Hm…

“Are you a lawyer by any chance?”

“Duh.”

“... And you mentioned something about eating souls…”

“Where is this even going?”

“Well-” The cat grins, and twirls her whiskers. He raises an eyebrow at her sudden turn around in demeanor. “I happen to need a defense attorney on retainer… Perhaps I could send you… Associates that need to be terminated?”

Snatcher recoils for a second but thinks about it, hunger gnawing at his stomach. That store of souls from Vanessa’s rampage won’t last forever… Maybe this deal can work out for him.

“... Alright. Let’s go over to my home so we can actually discuss the details, though.” He tosses the quill and contract to her, and she looks it over before signing. It vanishes from her hands, reappearing in his. He also glances it over before stamping a seal of approval on it.

“MINIONS!” To the cat’s shock, a dozen possessed dolls scurry out from the underbrush. “I need…” He points at a random minion.  _ “You _ , I need you to go fetch the royal jewels. They’re probably still in the attic.”

They groan, and all the minions scatter back to where they came from. The strange ghost looks back to the cat, his usual smile quickly coming back into view.

“It’ll be a pleasure doing business with you, Reina Masako.”


End file.
